It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a Beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer
If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
advantage: Tie
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: Beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: Beer.
Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
advantage: Tie
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
advantage: Tie
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy
The government taxes Beer
Advantage: Pussy
There was a fly looking at some food in a river. The fly thought, "If I go down, I can get the food!"
There was a fish looking at the fly. The fish thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, I can get the fly!"
There was a bear looking at the fish. The bear thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, and that fish comes up to get the fly, I can get the fish!"
There was a man looking at the bear. The man thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, and the bear gets the fish, I can shoot the bear!"
There was a mouse looking at the man. The mouse thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, and the man shoots the bear, I can get the man's sandwich!"
There was a cat looking at the mouse. The cat thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, the man shoots the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich, I can get the mouse!"
So the fly goes down to get the food. The fish comes up and gets the fly. The bear swipes his mighty paw and gets the fish. The man shoots the bear. The mouse runs for the man's sandwich. The cat lunges for the mouse, misses, and falls in the river.
What's the moral of the story?
When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.